He answers with an evasive glance

- Please talk to me. I took the first step already anyway. Shame’s upon me. Please say something, I can’t stand this silence.
- So you think this is about pride or honor or something?
[She freezes.]
- It’s not… You don’t understand this at all, do you? Nothing was right from the start. We could’ve seen this coming; we should have been alarmed long ago. What are you staring at? I’m talking now, that’s exactly what you wanted, right? Are you scared? Don't tell me you're scared.
- No.
[It was only a whisper.]
- Well don’t freak out on me then, kid. Everything’s not lost; maybe I can still fix this.
- You can? Won’t you need me?
[He answers her question with an evasive glance and remains silent. She knows enough.]


It's harder to stand up straight

- The emptiness, it's so dense. The light within is so dark. I keep mixing them up in my head. It feels like nothing I've ever experienced before. Yet I know it all, I even think I can foretell.
[A deep sigh escapes.]
- You should give yourself a break, rest. You don't have to worry now.
[He drops to his knees but keeps looking to the floor for a few more seconds.]
- It’s all about one thing, you know. Always about that one, same thing. But it’s everything.
[He stops talking and looks tormented. It takes a while until he starts speaking again, although his eyes are still looking the other way.]
- I’m sorry, I’m rattling. It’s been hard to think clearly in this vortex of events.
- Don’t worry man, I told you. You’re not alone in this, remember?
- I have never felt loneliness pressing so heavily on my chest, pal. I know you‘re there, but it also got you under its full weight. I’m sorry.
[ The man looks up, searches for eye contact.]
- I don’t believe you. It was you who dove right into this shit, pulling me with you. This is not the time or place to opt out, man. Hey, look at me.
[As he looks at him, the man can’t get another word out of his mouth. He grins. They just stare for few moments.]
- It’s harder to stand up straight than to lie down, isn’t it.
- It sure is.



Mijn voeten trillen en tikken
tegen het ritme in of op de maat
Door het gat in mijn buik heen
trilt de lucht mee

De grijze massa en flikkerende lichten
behelst door een meetrillende schedel
blijft verder onaangetast



5. Beelden van licht.
Van lichtvallen.

5.01 Licht dat in stukken valt, op stukken valt.

5.02 Licht dat uit een bepaalde hoek valt, op vreemde hoeken valt.

5.021 Het stuit op de oneffenheid van de stukken.

5.022 Licht belicht de stukken, stelt ze in het licht.

5.1 Licht gedraagt zich.

5.11 Net als mensen in gezelschap anders dan alleen.

5.2 Stukken liggen.

5.21 In het licht of in de duisternis.

5.22 Soms los (laten zich omrollen), soms versteend.



3. Zij is niet alleen maar logisch.

4. Wij maken ons beelden van de stukken.

4.1 Beelden in ons hoofd.

4.11 Dit is alles wat wij weten.

4.12 Alleen van datgene in ons hoofd zijn wij zeker.

4.121 Zeker voor zover we zeker kunnen zijn. De dingen (stukken, wereld, beelden) veranderen en dan zijn we niet meer zo zeker. Zelfs als we gelijk hebben kunnen we opeens heel onzeker worden (of andersom).

4.13 Dan is dat in ons hoofd echter dan de rest.

4.131 De stukken in ons hoofd, die eerst beelden waren van stukken, worden meer werkelijk dan de wereld.